Working Through Distractions

Photo Credit: Charlz Gutierrez De Pineres @charlz

As we begin to head into the harvest season of the year, many of us want to complete one last big push of productivity. Things have a way of slowing down and yet increasing in chaos as we head into the latter half of the year. Thinking about this highlighted to me the struggles myself and many others have with distractions.

Experts point out what a distracted world we live in now. There are so many more distractions now than ever before in the history of mankind. Technology has become our right hand and our entertaining dopamine hit when we are bored and need a fix. The problem though is that we’re not often truly bored. A lot of times we have quite a lot to do. But this work isn’t “fun” or stimulating. This work is “boring” according to our brains which are used to bright colors, flashing lights, sweet treats and laugh tracks. But this work is also what will move us forward in life. It’s not as fun as distractions, but the success of our futures depend on it.

I have long-since come to recognize indulging in distractions to be a form of resistance for me. Some part of me is afraid to step to the mat, afraid of what will happen when I’m called to task. Will I be able to perform? Will I succeed or make a fool of myself?

We all do this. We do this with school work, with projects, on our jobs. We do it when trying to build our businesses or clean our houses. We indulge in distractions from our shadow work, prayers, or spiritual cleansing. One could easily say we need distractions. We need distractions from this crazy world and all the stimulation we receive, nearly 24/7. I would argue that the distractions are the main culprit when it comes to the constant input of data we accept.

Richard from https://www.doomedmoviethon.com/ distracting me in the middle of a reading!

Photo credit: LeEtta Schmidt of https://www.theleemsmachine.com/

Naturally, I bring most of my thoughts on this blog to a spiritual and energetic place. Thinking of the natural rhythms and cycles of nature, has humanity diverged too much from our natural patterns? I would actually say no. As people rush to get into “Back to School” mode this aligns with the last heated excitement of summer. People in colder climates prioritize soaking the last rays of sun before the leaves fall. Those of us in hot climates are relieved to know our hottest days are numbered. No man-made technology or distractions can pull us out of these patterns.

Distractions alone are not the enemy; our brains and bodies do need a break. Recognizing when distractions pull you away from what matters most to you in life is the greatest challenge. It can be so hard not to dawdle and daydream. I know I’m confronted with a shadow when the thought of working on a project makes me want to clean my baseboards or pull weeds.

Does the thought of meditating make you want to play Boggle or organize your socks by color? Do notifications on your phone annoy you unless you’re working on a project and are thrilled to have a blessed distraction? Join the club!

But I’ve learned two things I want to share. First off, distractions will always be plentiful, but time won’t. We have precious little time to accomplish our dreams and goals. We never get as much time as we’d like to do the things that matter. The second thing is, doing one hour of “boring” work in actuality makes me feel infinitely better than moving up levels in Candy Crush Saga or watching yet another YouTube video (mine excluded, wink wink!) Blocking out distractions is tough and the world is setup against us in that regard. As aforementioned, distractions themselves aren’t the enemy. Our resistance hiding behind the distractions is truly the culprit. Don’t let distractions monopolize your time and energy. The harvest is always around the corner and the fewer distractions we indulge, the more true plenty we will have.

Judgement

Photo credit: NeONBRAND; @neonbrand

Political Wars! Race Wars! Mask Wars! In these challenging times we’re living through, emotions are running higher than they have in a long time. People are anxious and on edge. Observing people’s reactions as well as my own is teaching me something I want to share. We judge one another not just because we’re jerks. We judge one another when we’re afraid.

Judgement seems to be at an all-time-high right now. If you support #BlackLivesMatter, you are called a leftist sheep. If you hesitate to support the cause, you are instantly labeled a racist. If you wear a mask, you’re a foolish, compliant zombie. If you don’t wear a mask, you are an inconsiderate potential murderer. I don’t have to go into how the Liberals and Conservatives battle politically – we all know enough about that! Everything is very “us” vs. “them.” You’re either on the right side or the wrong side. There is no room allowed for subtlety, nuance, or self-reflection that takes more than 2 minutes.

This ties in so perfectly with the heavy Capricornian energy and influence of 2020. The zodiac sign Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, the Lord of Karma, is the epitome of judgement. Capricorn takes no prisoners and doles out judgement with impunity. Humanity responds in kind, judging each other. As we transition out of 2020, some of this energy will abate, but until then, we’ve got to hunker down and bear what is upon us.

Author and leader in the spiritual self-help space, and recovered addict, Gabrielle Bernstein, states that judgement of others is an addiction. This is a provocative idea and one that I tend to agree with. Looking at judging others through the lens of addiction, I used to wonder why many of us are so committed – or addicted to relentlessly judging others. As aforementioned, I’m beginning to make the connection between judgement of others and fear.

Glamour!

Many of us fear the upheaval of the systems that have been in place, in some cases, for centuries. Even if some of these storied institutions need dismantling, the change terrifies us. Speaking for the USA only, many people either experience first-hand or observe systemic race-based oppression. Other people are oblivious to this, having never been exposed to or been conscious of other people’s experiences. Rather than having deep, confronting and productive conversations with each other about this painful topic, we hurl judgments at one another. We trade insults and absolutist labels with each other and then call it a day, scurrying back to our respective camps. As with most addictive behaviors, in the short term, it’s easier and it feels better to do this than to do any real work. Surely there wouldn’t be a problem if “they” got themselves together and made the “right” choices.

People who grew up experiencing or observing racial injustices are afraid it will never go away and that they and future generations will never know life without it. Others who deny racial inequality is woven into the fabric of our society fear acknowledging their own potential unconscious biases. Any change to the status quo threatens to overwhelm. Both camps experience fear that motivates their judgement of one another.

As a global community, we are still operating under the fear of contracting COVID19. As the population tries to take the recommended safety precautions, disagreements ensue, even among the scientific and medical community. Do masks help reduce the spread of the virus or not? The jury isn’t clear on the issue, but mask-wearing is being mandated more and more. And as fear rises in the people, so does the corresponding judgement.

A simple trip to the grocery store or walk in the park is now much more likely to end up in open, hostile exchanges as people confront one another for wearing, or not wearing a mask. The underlying issue here is that seeing people in masks frightens a lot of people. And for others, seeing people not wearing masks frightens them. What a conundrum we are in!

Image from The Universe Has Your Back Oracle Deck by Gabrielle Bernstein; Hay House

People allow fear to take over their energy, thoughts, and interactions. I say this without judgement – we are only human. We are powerful and equally fragile. We can only handle so much fear before we lose a grip on the love that is our true source of power. We can respect the gravity of the situations in the world without letting fear consume our emotions. We can peacefully stand up for human rights and systemic change. We can view one another, mask or not, with respect and recognition of our shared human experience. Judgment may have its place and value in society, but not when it is fueled and perpetuated by fear. Remember you don’t have to fear. You can, but you don’t have to.

Resistance

Photo Credit: Anthony Tran @anthonytran

Steven Pressfield, in his book, The War of Art, proposes that procrastination is not a manifestation of laziness; it is a form of resistance. Oh, the accuracy of this statement! Procrastination is a highly effective form of resistance. It fits solidly into the freeze section of the “fight, flight, or freeze” construct. Why is it so hard to do the things we know we must? The things we know would make us happy and bring us progress?

A perfect embodiment of resistance is the 8 of Swords in the tarot. A figure is blindfolded and bound to a stake, immobilized with her sight cut off. The trick is – spoiler alert! – The ties binding her are loose. She’s perfectly capable of removing them and her blindfold and walking away. Another excellent tarot depiction of resistance is the 4 of Coins. In this card, a man clings to four large coins. He has one coin under each of his feet, one rests above his head and the other he holds firmly in his grasp.

8 of Swords from The Everyday Witch Tarot, Llewellyn; and The Original Rider Waite Tarot, U.S. Games Systems

This demonstrates that there are actually different kinds of “resistance as inactivity.” While the 8 of Swords is the type of resistance that involves willful blindness and denial, the 4 of Coins is a conscious, stubborn resistance. The 8 of Swords not only refuses to move, she refuses to see what is going on around her. The 4 of Coins looks straight ahead. He knows what’s going on and refuses to budge or let go.

Perhaps behind resistance lies fear of failure and fear of exposure and criticism. We can’t worry about public humiliation if we never put ourselves or our work out into the world. We certainly hear “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” and other iconic quotes on the subject. And inspiring though they may be, sometimes they still don’t move the needle.

4 of Coins from The Everyday Witch Tarot, Llewellyn; and The Original Rider Waite Tarot, U.S. Games Systems

One thing that may help is understanding what motivates us and then using that to push ourselves out of our resistance ruts. Some psychologists believe people fall into two primary camps: those who are motivated by seeking pleasure and those who are motivated by avoiding pain. If a person is motivated by pleasure, they can coax themselves out of resistance by gifting themselves small rewards along their journey. Those wishing to avoid pain can motivate themselves with images of catastrophic failure and defeat and this will encourage them to do the necessary duties to avoid this.

It’s quite comical that resistance is often an avoidance of pain while ultimately causing the most pain in the long run. That fear of failure or of not being good enough, or of expressing our creativity or authentic selves builds into a behemoth in our minds. And the smallest steps forward reveal the fears to be nothing more than a little man behind a curtain, a la The Wizard of Oz.

8 of Coins and The Knight of Wands from The Everyday Witch Tarot, Llewellyn; and The Original Rider Waite Tarot, U.S. Games Systems

Going back to the tarot, when you want to pull yourself out of resistance, try invoking the Knight of Wands, fired up on his steed, ready for anything. The 8 of Coins is another good card: just work away on your goals, step by step. Don’t’ overwhelm yourself with the end result; take diligent action. Whether by great leaps or small steps, action and forward movement is the way out of the black cave of resistance.

The fact is, resistance doesn’t keep us safe. The feeling of safety it creates is illusory. Resistance leads us directly into that which we fear the most: failure. That’s the irony, it’s not trying and failing that hurts the most. It’s failing as a result of never having tried at all. But we have to remember that resistance and fear are little men behind big curtains, smoke, mirrors, and theatrics. The biggest baddest fear in our minds is no match for the tiniest step forward. Making just one phone call, writing just one page, walking just once around the block, that’s all it takes to diminish resistance and fear. And if you can repeat those same actions over and over again, resistance doesn’t stand a chance.

The Nature of Personal Reality

Photo Credit: Tobias Bjerknes; @cloud_mind

Years ago I read a book by the psychologist Richard Carlson called, You Can Be Happy No Matter What. In this book Dr. Carlson discussed how suffering is largely in the mind. This idea is nothing new to those familiar with Buddhism but there’s something to be said about translating the concept using modern psychological terms.

I’ve thought of the messages in this book more than ever recently, due to what is going on in the world. The nature of each person’s reality certainly varies greatly but there’s nothing like a global pandemic and devastated economy to highlight and further exacerbate any disparities among us. How we each navigate our reality matters now, more than ever.

The question I always come back to is why do our realities differ so greatly? Not globally – that’s too broad a spectrum and the answers are more apparent. I mean that among those of us who enjoy the privileges of life in the First World and who have more than our baseline level of needs met, why are the realities we experience so varied? That’s certainly a larger question than I could ever attempt to answer in a blog, but I will address it here nonetheless.

This topic especially jumps out at me now via my readings with clients. My clients perfectly embody the gamut of reactions and effects of the global pandemic. Many have lost their jobs or have had their working hours reduced. Many are juggling having children at home while trying to work from home. More uncertainty pervades their daily lives than ever. A small number of my clients are relatively unaffected by the current happenings and an even smaller number are actually thriving.

What I notice among them all is how they each appear to live in different worlds. I say this without judgement but with fascination and curiosity.  Some of my client’s whose lives look less than ideal on paper are joyful and hopeful when we meet. Indeed, their readings often reflect this. Their difficult circumstances are acknowledged but their experience of their reality is nonetheless positive.

Others are fraught with worry, panic, and sleepless nights. I must confess this is the group I understand more easily! Their inner thoughts and feelings seem to align with their outer conditions; there is no dissonance. I also understand where my clients who are doing well and feeling well are coming from. There is harmony between the fortunate circumstances of their lives and their enjoyment of those circumstances.

A card from The Wisdom of the Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid; Hay House, Inc.

One of my clients lives a seemingly charmed life. However, worries about her family members dominate and darken her reality. This brings me back to what Dr. Carlson states in his book. Unless we are literally in the middle of experiencing something painful or traumatic, it is only our thoughts about those events or situations that torment us. Most of us, right here and now, are actually fine. Our thoughts about the events or situations of our lives infiltrate and shape our reality, alongside what is actually happening.

It could be stated that our thoughts about our reality are not reality itself. However, I wonder if that ultimately isn’t true? We partner our thoughts with the happenings of our lives and an interwoven reality materializes. This creates so many different versions of reality, no matter the life circumstances. Our thoughts about ourselves and our lives might be even more powerful than what actually occurs in daily life.

Can the question of why some people whose life conditions are painful still experience happiness be answered? Why do some people with apparently blessed lives suffer? Our reality as individuals and as a collective diverge and deviate from the alleged consensus reality. Something one person views as a blessing, another may view as a curse. This could very well come down to mindset, which I will cover in another blog. For now, just know your reality is shared, and yet it is very much your own. How do you feel about this statement and how will your feelings about this influence your reality?

When the Flood Comes

Photo Credit: Ian Espinosa @greystorm

17 And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.

18 And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.

19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.

20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.

Genesis 7 17-20

Earth is a big school for us humans and the lessons we learn here are very tough. Similar to death and taxes, these tough lessons affect us all; no one is exempt. While a strong spiritual practice provides tools to help us cope, we all experience tragedies, setbacks, and failures, some of which are devastating.

These thoughts are inspired by a difficult time in my life and by a profound conversation I had with a colleague many years ago. Working in Corporate America, our cubicles placed across from one another, my colleague Robert and I were chatting about some recent unfortunate events in the world. Robert mentioned how many people are shocked when negative events occur and how he didn’t understand why they weren’t better prepared.

This surprised me. Robert was also a pastor and what I perceived as his lack of compassion seemed out of character for a man of God. He must have seen the puzzled look on my face, because Robert then said to me, “The bible doesn’t say ‘if the flood comes,’ it says ‘when the flood comes.’ God never says bad things won’t happen to you. He says they will. It’s up to us how we deal with these things, but we can’t be surprised.”

His powerful words left a mark on me, and I finally understood him. The Christian Bible is full of flood and natural disaster references. These references can not only be literal, but metaphorical, representing all sorts of the challenges of human life. Even if one has no use for this biblical reference, the meaning behind it hits home nonetheless.

When working with clients, we will often discuss their hardships and setbacks in life. And I reiterate what I mentioned about human life on Earth being the toughest school and how we arrange these challenges to foster our souls’ growth. I stand by these words, but they are never easy to accept. They never feel good.

However, knowing that the flood will come, at one time or another, this is why we have our spiritual practices. This is why when I hit a patch of depression or am mired in the muck, I turn to my tarot and oracle cards. I turn to my divination practices and prayers. The pain reminds me to utilize the tools I’ve been given.

When the flood comes, and it will come, we can rail against the unfairness and sadness of it all.  But there is no use staying in shock and awe. Those of us who walk in faith (any faith) are reminded to lean on that faith and to put the tools of our faith to good use. The difficult times that seem not of our doing aren’t there to punish us, they act as a painful reminder to stay connected to the source of our faith. They remind us that we are indeed spiritual beings who are here to learn. And many of the best, most profound lessons require a bit of pain. They come as a flood.